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| Toasting (with apple juice) our halfway mark of the MTC |
This has been quite the week. I know I say that every week, but it truly has been an amazing one.
Last Wednesday we lost one of our "investigators." She left us a message saying her husband thinks that we're deceivers, and doesn't want us to meet any more. Even though I knew it was part of the role-play (she was actually going to London for two weeks and will be back) it truly broke my heart to think of this happening, as I'm sure it will, in Taiwan.
But things have gotten better, I don't want this to seem like a downer email.
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Every day it's becoming easier and easier to live in God's way. Sometimes it might seem like a mission is "paying my dues" for all the blessings God has given me. But today I was talking with Elder Hansen, from my district, and it occurred to me that it's like Tithing. My life is already the Lord's. When I pay tithing, it sometimes seems like I'm giving something up to Him, but in reality, He takes my small sacrifice, and uses it to bless me 1000 fold in return. Tithing builds temples, through which we receive blessings of eternity. He doesn't take it for Himself. He is the refiner, and He takes our small, raw contribution, and crafts with it eternal and exquisite blessings for each of us. So it is with my mission. It sometimes seems like a sacrifice, but He is truly just taking these two years, crafting them into more blessings than my imperfect and human self could every deserve, and bestowing them back upon me for the rest of my life. Elder Hansen is one who is struggling quite a bit with the language, and worries about it a lot, but he doesn't realize he has some of the strongest faith in our district. Even if he never learned a lick of Chinese, I would want him as my companion in the field so that his Faith could do more than words ever could.
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| And Elder Councill with all the cardboard he collected building Helms Deep from Lord of the Rings. Somewhere someone has a video of us re-enacting it, but it's best that remains lost. ;-) |
I tried so hard all yesterday and today to prepare to teach Zhou. I wanted to leave him with something to remember, and to really help him feel the spirit that this Gospel would bring him. All day I felt like the Spirit guided me so much, and I was so excited. We got there, he had no interest in what we were saying, and we left our testimonies at the end, to no seeming effect. I was devastated. Why had I felt the Spirit so strongly before? I thought I trusted in God, but it seemed to have little effect. I was confused and disheartened. Had I done something wrong? Eventually, I decided that I may never know why something goes wrong, but that through all things, even those I don't understand, I will trust the Lord. He knows, and He WILL NOT, WON'T EVER lead me astray.
Saturday, August 13, 2016
Another great TRC. The brother helped us a lot with our Chinese, and seemed to really enjoy the lesson. We got our review after and he said everything was great! Just work on pronunciation a little. ;-) Today I also learned that I only get one more chance to teach Zhou. Our teacher is quitting (who is our investigator) because it's his second job (60 hrs a week total), and school is going to start so he can't keep it. He is amazing, and we're going to miss him a lot. Another thought that I and Elder Vanslooten had was that Zhou wasn't just some made up investigator, designed to challenge us. I asked our teacher in class, and he confirmed that Zhou was a man he taught on his mission in Taiwan. It makes me love and want to help him all the more.
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| Today was Elder Meanea's MTC halfway mark so he and his district celebrated with apple juice and blueberry bread. |
As always, simply amazing. I wan't to briefly relate a small miracle that I have experienced here. A few days ago, I had realized that I still needed to make major changes to my attitude in order to start finding the Joy I've been promised in my mission. I started praying to Heavenly Father to change my heart. I wanted to turn outward, like the Savior did, and not worry about myself or my own wants. After I read those talks, I pondered for a long while, and my thoughts turned to daydreaming about home, and the places I love in Cedar, and the people I missed. In the midst of these thoughts, this daydream, I looked out over Cedar City, and suddenly felt as if I didn't want to be there, not in the slightest. It jarred me. I thought I missed home, right? But as I ran over my daydream again, it seemed in my heart that I would loathe to be anywhere besides here, serving the Lord, and on my way to Taiwan. I even went as far as to (foolishly) wonder how I would ever find something as worthwhile as a mission after I had to come home. I realized that the Lord had begun to change my heart. Somehow, through no worthiness of my own, He gently began to shape it with His gentle touch. I know that the Lord heard me, knew what I needed, and began to give me as I desired, which I knew to be right. I also know that He will always hear. And He will always love and help me.
Monday, August 15, 2016
Very much too short a day. We got a new investigator. It was Yang Ming Fang again! But in a different role. Her name is Han. We began to teach her about families and our message concerning them. She seems like she'll be a great investigator!
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
I had an eye opener today. We had a devotional with Sister Oscarson, though rumors had been rampant that Elder Holland was coming. It was great, but what jarred me was when I crawled into bed that night and thought to myself I survived! A few moments of pondering later, I became a bit ashamed of myself. Hadn't I just had a spiritually glowing experience of the Lord changing my heart? And here I was, at the end of a Day consecrated to the Lord, and all I could say was I survived? That may sound a little harsh on myself, but it made me realize that I don't want any more days on my mission where all I have to report to the Lord is I'm okay, I made it back to bed. I've been called to do so much more than that. And He has promised me power beyond all I've ever had, if I'll dedicate my life and time to Him. It may still sound harsh, but this was supposed to be HIS DAY. A day in which I thought of others, did my best to uplift, and my thoughts had simply been of my own comfort, getting back to bed at night. I don't want another day where I sheepishly come before the Lord in prayer and say, "Yeah, sorry about that. It was kind of an off day." I only have 23 more months to serve like this, and not a day of that did God set aside for me to be lax and let things slide. It is my belief that every day the Lord puts before us opportunities to brighten the lives of others. I like the hymn, "Have I done any Good?" It reminds me a lot of missionary work, and the things the Lord promises me and expects from me every moment I've dedicated to Him.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
P day! Woot of the Woot. I got some letters from home, which brightened my day exceedingly, and emailed my family! We also finished up the initiatory work (all of it) that Elder Vanslooten had from his Grandma's entire tree. So now she has something to do. ;-) We did laundry, and will teach Zhou for the last time tonight. I don't know if he drops us, or if we get to imagine him living happily ever after, but by Heavenly Father's strength, this lesson will help him the rest of his life. And it may seem odd of me, and a little gungho (no idea how to spell that) to say these things about a made up person, but it's not made up. He is a real man that needs God's help. And if I don't take it seriously, then the Lord can't through me either.
My loving family, thank you so much for your prayers, your messages, and your yizhi (continual) support. I feel it all, and I love you so much. I hope you all have an amazing week, and that by the time next Wednesday rolls around, you'll have been able to read all of this. ;-)
Trust the Lord.
-Zhang Lao Meanea
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